CENTRAL DOSSIER
THE MEMORY OF OUR MARTYRS
Blessed Juan Maria de la Cruz, scj
This starts from the month of St. Joseph of the year 1928. I dedicate this little notebook to the Holy Family, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. The Apostolic School of Puente la Reina: March 1, 1928 - the day of the Holy Guardian Angel. I propose, Deo juvante, to write at least one line every day. A.M.D.G.
March 1928
Day 1 - Intention: Habere majorem sollicitudinem circa devotionem erga angelum meum custodem; et etiam erga angelos Domini et Beatorum Spirituum Ordines.
Day 2 - First Friday - Retreat. Notes for Improvement
a) Circa humilitatem et mansuetudinem. Avoid excessive intensity when discussing.
Loqui semper cum moderatione et modestia religiosa. Moderare etiam motus indignationis, praesertim in Sancta Missa et in actibus pietatis, in docendo, etc.
b) Circa diligentiam. Vitare pigritiam. Ordinare cogitationes. Vitare praeoccupationes vanas.
c) Circa obedientiam. Obedire in omnibus cum humilitate, simplicitate cordis, cum hilaritate, cum vero spiritu obedientiae supernaturalis. “The Superior, the director, the confessor is the person of God”.
d) Circa charitatem. Impetrare quotidie istum amorem ardentissimum erga Jesum Christum et Cor ejus Sacratissimum quod tantum desidero, quod urat omnia peccata et vitia mea, et quod urat etiam et inflammet multas animas in eodem Div. Amor.
Impetrare etiam magnum et filialem et verum amorem erga Stmam Virginem Mariam.
Hoc idem respective petam de Sto. Joseph et de Sanctis Patronis meis.
e) Etiam procurabo. Deo juvante, majorem charitatem erga proximum quam habui usque adhuc.
Continuation - March
2-f) Majorem punctualitatem.
g) Brevior esse in Stae. Missae celebratione.
h) Id. in sede sacram.
i) Minus loqui de infirmitatibus corp.
3 - “...dominantur eorum; vos autem non sic; sed si quis...fiat vester minister”. Applicatio.
4 - “Orare est gubernare” “Orare est praedicare”. Applicatio.
5 - Modestia in jocis et divertimentis aedificatio - Unite holy joy with modesty, moderation, composure in everything.
6 - Intensify faith in the presence of God. Laetitia et fiducia ortae ex hac Dei praesentia.
7 - Humilitas caritativa - charitas humilis. Una sine altera non prodest.
8 - Humilitas, humilitas, humilitas - lower myself continually into my nothingness. Sin, misery, nothingness: here is my wealth. Is this vanity? Oh, my God, make me humble through the intercession of St. Joseph. And I will also intensify my devotion to St. John of God.
9 - Do not change the love of my Lord Jesus Christ for...? Humble myself as much as I can. Deo juvante.
10 - To try to live always united with the Divine Heart through faith, charity and prayer. “Ego sum vitis, vos palmites” “Manete in me, et ego in vobis”.
11 - Nunc coepi, Domine = Meditatio circa Orationem Horti = Major diligentia in Hora Sancta fer. Vª = Comitare Domino cum majore amore et compassione et gratitudine. Item ante requiem, etc. In certaminibus volunt. cum part. inf. reminiscere certamen hoc in agonia Getsemani. Major devotio erga hoc mysterium. Domine, propter hoc certamen et agoniam et sudorem Sanguinis, conforta et purifica animam meam. Oh, Maria Dolorosa, ora pro me.
12 - “If you want to be holy, be humble. If you want to be more holy, be more humble, if you want to be very holy, be very humble. Practical application. Item. War on scruples! Sancta libertas.
13 - “vivo autem, jam non ego...” Praesentia Dei. Horror of sin! I have consecrated my soul, my body, my heart to my dearly loved Jesus. Item. The hour of rest has come, forget all other thoughts and enter the Mount of Olives with my beloved Lord, that is to say, in my own soul. (At 10, unless something serious prevents it).
18 - Ordinatio sacerdotalis. Actus amoris Dei pro tota vita mea. Desidero vitam meam futuram esse actum non interruptum et progresive crescentem amoris Dei mei.
19 - (Annus Novitiatus) S. Joseph. Reiteratio resolutionis anteactae. Oh Maria. Oh Joseph!
20 - Adjuvate me. Fac nos innocuam...Maria, Mater mea, S. Joseph Pater meus. Major devotio et amor.
21 - Reiteratio hujus propositi. Gratitudo et correspondentia erga Dolores Matris meae.
23 - S. Joseph Oriol - Anniversario 1ª Missa. Reavivare fidem, praesertim circa praesentiam Dei.
August 5 - In dedicatione Stae. Mariae ad Nives
In hac die sancta et memorabile etiam ego indignissimus servorum Mariae Dei Genitricis, coram angelos et sanctos Dei et praesertim coram angelum meum custodem et sanctos patronos meos, et in honorem Santissimae Trinitatis nec non in spiritu amoris et reparationis erga Sacratissimum Cor Jesu solemnem facio dedicationem animae meae simul ac corporis mei nomine Beatae Mariae Virginis Inmaculatae et Purissimae Dei Genitricis: ita ut deinceps anima mea simul cum corpore meo sit sanctuarium B. Virgini Mariae dedicatum.
Rogo ergo dulcissimam et amabilissimam Matrem meam ut dignetur hujus sanctuarii, jam amore Dei purificati et mundati, atque vitutibus, gratia et donis Spiritus Sancti ornati, quamvis pauperrimi, in possessionem venire et ab eo numquam recedere.
Ego autem, Dei adjuto, mediante et Mariae efficacissima intercessione, firmiter propono diligenter vigilare et orare ut semper munditia et decor in eo fulgeat; et quam primum expellere quidquid indignum in eo introire posset.
Ornatus principalis hujus sanctuarii: 1° Charitas, 2° Humilitas, 3° Puritas, seu munditia animae et corporis, 4° Oratio, 5° Modestia interna et externa, 6° Zelus, 7° Obedientia, 8° Mansuetudo, 9° Pax, 10° sanca Libertas, 11° Mortificatio, 11° (12°) Labor, 12° (13°) Sacrificium, inmolatio, 13° (14°) Reparatio.
Nonis Augusti anni MCMXXVIII
Joannes Ma. a Cruce
September 1935 (from 1 to 8)
Notes
1a. “Habetis fructum vestrum sanctificationem; finem vero Vitam Aeternam”
2a. Concerning hell I keep very much in mind Chapter XXXII of the autobiography of Saint Teresa of Jesus. I am going to make sure that I read it every now and then, especially when my spirit is failing in love and in the holy fear of God “timorem pariter et amorem...”.
This thinking has stimulated me: 1st to flee every day further from sin and to restrain from concupiscence, pride, etc. 2nd to work with more diligence from day to day for the salvation of souls; not avoiding (before these aims) any sacrifice, either interior or exterior, considering as “a nothing” (as the Saint put it) any work, pain or suffering, compared to those terrible and eternal pains. I have to ask the Lord, through the mediation of Mary, to weep abundant reparatory tears for my sins and those of others; because one single grave sin deserves vast punishment; like the loss of many souls which “like snowflakes” fall into hell, and I will not cease to pray and beseech her to intercede for the conversion of sinners and for salvation of the dying. To implore holy heaven, pure, mild, humble but fervent, for the salvation of souls.
Intentions for Holy Exercises (September 1935)
Note: See the resolution made on March 4, 1929 in the preceding pages.
1st Total abandoning of myself in the most pure hands of Mary, my dearly loved and most holy Mother (to whom I dedicate these Holy Exercises), and through Her in the hands of God Our Lord and in the Most Holy wound of the Heart of Jesus. Today is the day of my presentation; by the hand of Mary I have been led and presented to the Most Holy Heart of Jesus, to live forever in this Holy Shelter, so that He may do with me whatever He pleases; to immolate myself continually in the name of holy obedience, or whatever may be His holy will.
Always in the arms of my Most Holy Mother and adoring the Most Holy Trinity in the Sacred Temple of the Divine Heart, I have nothing to fear; I have to reject no sacrifice, when I know clearly that Jesus and Mary are asking it of me. With their power I am omnipotent; with their goodness and merciful love I am happy, I am fortunate. = Never must I forget that “To obey is to love” = .
2nd Holy Poverty. I am dispensing with all exterior things. Even of those which, with the permission of my Superiors, I keep for my daily use: books, garments, watch, etc. etc.
Therefore:
a) I have to free the room of everything that is superfluous just like myself.
b) When I need something, ask my Superiors for it with humility and simplicity and show myself pleased with what they give me and what they stipulate.
c) When I no longer need these things, give them back as soon as I can.
d) When it is possible I will not make use of general permission, unless it is for necessity, either to get certain things or to buy them on my travels.
3rd ... Mihi abhinc res hujusmodi tamquam si numquam extitissent, nec sint, nec futurae essent; imo vero tanquam nec possibiles nec imaginabiles.
(1) “Nec nominentur in vobis, sicut decet sanctos” Maria! Mater mea!
(2) “Vivens ac moriens in materno tuo amplexu feliciter requiescam” In te confido. Salus mea in manu tua est. Semper tecum in sacratissimo vulnere Cordis Jesu. Altissimum posuisti refugium meum. Jesu, Maria, Joseph, semper et ubique vobiscum sim! Dominus illuminatio mea et salus mea. Quem timebo?
(1) Saint Paul
(2) Of the way of laying on the Miraculous Medal.
4th Life as a victim
I would like to start right now, my Mother of my soul, under your loving protection and always united with the most dearly loved Heart of Jesus, a new life as a Victim according to the spirit of my holy vocation.
For this I offer myself, as another Isaac, in your most pure hands, to Jesus, to be immolated, as it may please Him, on the holy altar of His Divine Heart. Here I am most sweet Jesus mine, although a most poor and miserable sinner; but hoping to be purified more and more by your most Merciful Love; here I am in the hands of your most Holy Mother. Do what you wish with this poor victim, but victim of your Merciful Love.
I submit myself with joy to everything which you deign to send me, be it favorable or adverse: health or infirmity, honor or dishonor, appreciation or disdain, grief or satisfaction, greater or lesser poverty, greater or lesser privations, cold or heat, wetness or drought, good or bad weather, one destiny or another, certain jobs or others, certain Superiors or others, certain brothers or others. Give me your grace, My Jesus, through the intercession of my Most Holy Mother, may I never fall from her maternal lap, nor from her loving hands, and do with me whatever you please.